alex_gd_4

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 02:35:10 GMT

that movie just made me think about you even more.
in all honestly, i miss you.
and i probably will for my entire life.

"Leaving you was the hardest thing ive done in a 100 years."
although you didn't react the way that Bella did.

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 04:18:50 GMT

i still think about everything.
and everything around me still seems to stop.
my heart drops, and memories flood my thoughts.
till this very day, not having you in my future still feels very weird.

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 05:28:43 GMT

once again i have fallen in love.

www.heartagram.com/audio_widget/player

and its only a 30sec. clip!

<3 Dec. 6th & Feb 2010 <3

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 04:58:23 GMT

im so glad i dont have a love life right now.
i mean yeah, i do love having someone to love.
but right now, i am content with myself.
i have myself to keep me happy.
i do things that make me happy like
sleeping in
hanging out with friends
playing video games
surfing the web
making movies
etc etc

this whole year has been nothing but a mess
a horrible chapter of my life
but i am so glad that all that's done with for real now.
yeah i still think about it all every now and then
but its doesn't get me down anymore and i love it.

i am getting my life together and enjoying the best years of my life.
i cant wait to move out and i cant wait to move next year
=]
life is indeed very good now.

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 18:02:02 GMT

things are goooooooood
:D

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:39:52 GMT

well there you have it Alex, the truth.
hurts doesn't it?
yeah it does.
all i want to do is punch a wall, scream at the top of my lungs, ball my eyes out, and never wake up.

im not going to act like a tough guy.
"oh okay, fuck you then, go fuck yourself, i don give a shit, i don't need you, blah, blah, blah"
because the truth is im not a tough guy nor do i want to be.
yes im hurt.
oh so terribly hurt.
but at least i know the truth now.
i wish i could have known sooner, but this will suffice.

its not that i need you.
and
its not that i depend on you.
i just really wanted you back.
i just really wanted to feel your love again.
but
there was only so much i could do.

now im not going to put my self down with words like
"i guess i wasn't good enough" or "what am i doing wrong" and stuff like that.
and
im not going to put you down with words like
"your such a bitch" or "how can you be so heartless"

no.
we just aren't compatible anymore.
we used to be. oh man how we used to be.
but now ever since we broke up, we have grown up faster than ever.
maybe our roads might connect again, or maybe they wont.
but until then i will live my life not for our memory, but for my memories.
this is my life and i have devoted too much of it on you.
now its my turn to explore, experience, and learn.

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:27:20 GMT

no more

girls
relationships
love
likes
flirting
kissing
or anything that falls into the category of Falling in love

for a while.
i fucking hate it all.

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:35:32 GMT

Friends only from now on.

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 02:47:13 GMT

you are so cruel.
i have thrown away so many good things to have you back.
you're so fucking stupid.

what i did tonight is the fist and last time ill do anything like that.

i just cant help but to think how you can fucking sleep at night.

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:25:45 GMT

god i fucking hate this.

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 02:10:30 GMT

it is oh so hard...
i just want things to go my way for once..

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:41:52 GMT

that time of year is coming again.
my favorite time.
Christmas.
im starting to see all of the holiday commercials .
and i love it.
i just wish this holiday season would be just like last years.
=\

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 22:42:36 GMT

YouTube it.

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 05:10:11 GMT

She's done with playing Jesus
She's gonna need a friend
I don't wanna stay here
Cause I know how this will end

She had another falling
She knows just what to do
Just like Sid and Nancy
I will be bleeding after you

Dead n gone!
Like a sad song!
Baby hold on!

Dead n gone!
I can play along!
Baby so long!
Dead n gone!

She's done with playing Jesus
She knows just what to do
I don't wanna stay here
I will be bleeding after you

D-d-d dead n gone!
Like a sad song!
Baby hold on!

Dead n gone!
I can play along!
Baby so long!

Dead n gone!
Like a sad song!
Baby hold on!

Dead n gone!

Just to lay here and light turned
Just to hold it in
But if blood can lie then...

I don't need your love!!

Dead n gone!
Like a sad song!
Baby hold on!

Dead n gone!
I can play along!
Baby so long!

Dead n gone!
Like a sad song!
Baby hold on!

Dead n gone!
I can play along!
Baby so long!
Dead n gone!

I cannot stay I cannot play along
Dead n gone
It's so called ruined just like a sad song
Dead n gone!
Why do we stay why do we play along
Dead n gone!
It's so called ruined just like a sad song
Dead n gone...
Dead n gone...

ihatehowincrediblystupidyouare.

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 02:24:16 GMT

What the hell am i doing?
I have caught my self saying that alot these passed few days.
So.. What am i doing?
You are probably just going to go over there meet this guy and forget about me again.
Part of me wants june to come. Part of me doesnt.
so far neither side is getting what it wants.

Fuck.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 10:37:37 GMT

im right in fucking front of you.
what the fuck am i doing?
what. the. fuck.

and so..

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:59:31 GMT

life is just supposed to go on....

at least im trying..

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:04:34 GMT

im stupid.

i shouldn't have answered.
but if you think about it, what are the odds of that?
i think things that aren't even close to your thoughts.

finally...

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 17:41:40 GMT

getting a move on with my interest in filming and production!

http://www.youtube.com/user/insurmountableFilms#p/a

:D

so much to say...

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:57:15 GMT

i feel like i cant explain it all.

im not used to this.
thats for sure.
i dont know how you do it.
is it because you have experience?
experience in heartbreaks, to where its easy for you to just walk the other way?
i dont know.
i dont mean to put you down, or talk shit about you.
but im not experienced.
not. at. all.
i can promise you one thing.
there is not one day that i dont think about you.
not one day passes by where i dont stop. look at my feet. close my eyes. and picture you smiling.
its hard. it really is.
you were the best thing that ever happened to me.
and now you are the worst.
i hate saying that, but its the truth.

now here we are.
both very much apart.
me filming. you doing hair.
our lives now separate.
its been what?
9 months, give or take..
9 months since we truly had each other.
but hey, whos counting anyways?
heh.

i just had a conversation with my mom while we took out the trash.
"i miss her mom.."
"yeah, i was wondering when she would be brought up again"
"i do, i really do. i haven't talked to her in weeks. there isnt a day that goes by where i dont think about her."
"yeah i know the feeling.."
"what?"
"remember jeff? not one day goes by where i dont think about him. he was my first love. i think about him everyday. i dated him in 1985 and i still think about him. he broke my heart just like she did yours. shit happens."
"yeah, shit does happen."'

oh..

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:41:49 GMT

how i wonder...

its..

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:09:24 GMT

so hard not to miss you.

The best Weekend Ever

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 20:32:27 GMT

lets begin with thursday.

thursday was the 69 eyes show, and it was nothing less than amazing.
i got to meet them, talk to them take pictures with them and sorta dance with one of them :P
it was a perfect night.

now friday.

mallorys toga party was a blast!
it was incredibly fun, i enjoyed it a lot!
happy birthday malloryyyy!!

and finally Saturday.

Zombiecon!
it was pure awesomeness and i loved every single second of it!
Eric, Luke, Eliie and I
aka
Bill, Francis, Zoey, and Louis!
running through the zombies and doing skits.
we filmed it, and it will be up soon!

i need more weekends like this!
P.S. all of these pictures and more are up on my myspace/facebook!

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 01:47:01 GMT

Eventful weeks, are my favorite weeks!
from today up until Tuesday i get to
-watch a movie with an amazing girl
-bowl at night and laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
-watch one of my all time favorite bands preform a mere 10 ft from me.
-partypartypartyy
-play dress up and shoot zombies.
-and play lax until i cant feel my ft.

this will be on hectic week/weekend.
and im fucking pump for it!
:D

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 04:43:05 GMT

i forgot how awkward dates are, haha.
none the less tonight was a very good night.
:D